|
Editor’s Note:
We had an anonymous contribution from a parent. We think every parent of a soccer child should read this. We would love to get your comments to this article. Has this parent got it right? Or is he/ she out to lunch? As a former parent/coach I can relate to the areas covered here.
The phrase "Soccer Mom" was promoted by the Clinton administration in the early '90s. It has now become part of accepted North American phraseology. But don't forget the Soccer Dads! In fact, let's give plenty of thought to the role of the Soccer Parent because it's not an easy one.
Apart from being chauffeur, soda supplier and general dogsbody, there are several distinctive roles for many -- and probably all -- soccer parents:
1. Supporter of your child.
On the face of it, this might sound simple. It isn't. Your child is playing as an individual within a team. How much do you praise your child to the exclusion of his/her teammates? How critical are you of your child's performance? How much do you hoot and holler when your child does something particularly good? There are no correct answers to these questions, but you do need to establish a balance. You should support and encourage your child, but what is the correct decibel level? As well, there will be times when you need to pick your child up after a disappointing game or a disappointing personal performance. The balance is how much is constructive criticism...how much is encouragement and reinforcement?
2. Supporter of your child's coach (if it's not YOU!)
Another dilemma for the parent is the support of the coach, especially if the parent is not altogether in agreement with everything the coach does. What about playing time for a 7-year-old -- your 7-year-old! What if the coach is only playing him/her for 25% of the game? The club should have a rule about playing time for younger players anyway. Most insist that each child must play for at least half the game. If the coach is not doing that, a reminder might be in order, and there are many ways of doing that. Some are even good ones! Some are not so good! The best bet is to play your part before the season starts regarding the establishment of a team communication system that outlines, preferably in writing, the expectations and recommended behavior of players, coaches and parents.
3. Supporter of your child's referee.
Lets face it. It is impossible to totally agree with all the decisions and actions of the referee. The referee's job is the most difficult one in soccer...but the most important one. It's a job that, because it is less important for the youngest players, can be done at that level by a parent or coach. As the game becomes more formalized, the referee is key to the proper conduct of the game. It's not unknown for rookie 14-year-old referees officiating 8-year-old players to be subject to verbal abuse from overly-zealous parents. Hopefully, you're not one of them. If it is coming from a parent of one of you child's teammates, what action should be taken? Because it does need action! A quiet word in his/her ear may or may not be the way to go. A word with the coach? It needs to be handled delicately, but it should not be ignored because it's not right. On another note, do you make a point of thanking the referee at the end of the game? If not, consider it.
4. Considerate supporter of your child's opponents.
Next time you are on a soccer field and your team scores, if you can contain yourself for a few seconds, keep quiet, listen and watch. Naturally, everyone on your team -- including the parents -- will celebrate the goal (some more vociferously than others!). Have a look at the opposing players and especially the player who may have made the mistake that caused the goal. Look, too, at the parents from the opposing team. It's not a good moment for them and they don't need their noses rubbed in it. Of course, this is all part of soccer and soccer is a microcosm of life, but a little consideration and decorum could go a long way at this time or perhaps a little later, when thanking the opposition for the game and their efforts.
5. The parent coach.
This requires a commitment of time, tolerance, patience, planning, preparation, education and an enormously thick skin. But there is a big bonus for most parent coaches as normally their child is one member of the team and that guarantees many quality hours together each year...providing that:
(a) You are not too hard (nor too easy) on your child and that your coach/player relationship does not negatively affect your parent/child relationship.
(b) You treat your child fairly with regards to playing time (players who play every minute of every game or who get insufficient playing time often cause the coach to be accused of favoritism).
Being the coach is potentially a difficult situation, but don't pass on it too quickly because the bonuses can be enormously high.
So those are just a few of the potential trials and tribulations of being a soccer parent. There are many more, but don't let that deter you. It's a great game and a healthy one, too!
Now where is that McDonald's the little rug rats want to go to...?
Editor: We don’t think the contributor was in any way embarrassed about adding their name. In fact, we can contact them and suggest they identify themselves if necessary. That’s not the point. Their point is: How can you be a good soccer parent? Your comments, please! tw
|
The Soccer Parent